Koray absent was Koray still

Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do, or what you do not do, things happen in a way you have no control over. I’m forced to believe in the laws of thermodynamics being a chemist, but on some occasions the rate-determining step happens to be a freak accident of nature. I’m talking about the course my life is about to take, and how it is directly related to things out of my control: two fucking e-mails I’ve just received this afternoon. Together they made me realize one crucial thing concerning my life after graduation: Koray, you pathetic foreigner, we all want you dead.

I’m not worried about death here. Death is categorically better than uncertainty where analytical tools fail to analyze, and such is the nature of uncertainty that surrounds me now. Multivariate calculus also proved that my life will diverge to nothingness if I don’t take corrective action.

This is supposed to remind me of Newton and how he was forced to invent calculus because he was stuck due to classical shortcomings.[1] I’m more inclined to remember Achilles, though. I like his way of attacking problems better.

Anyway. Once a foreigner, always a foreigner. Especially, in a redneck state. I am not going to elaborate on the details, but know this for a fact that I’ve done everything that needed to be done. If I’m not getting the expected outcomes when I trigger an event by following conventional rules and laws, then I have to improvise and get creative. And believe me, I can get more creative than an alchemist.

Now is the time to oppose things, and by opposing, silence them.

[1] Disagree? Please, this is not a post on who invented calculus. Newton, Leibniz, or both. This instance it matters not.

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